previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
your destiny is with your saving the world i don't know for sure perhaps we send you in a caravan
and you split off perhaps move towards water deep you will find a temple of bahamut where
maybe you can get some more direction on your destiny as you hear the sound of the caravans
beginning to move out okay a glim i guess uh i guess we're gonna go save the world with you
welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we're a dnd fifth edition actual play podcast and i'm your dungeon
master russe More with me today is Amy More i'm a bug but not really i play
sullivan slight a lightfoot halfling rogue who is also kind of a bug and carla johnson
i feel like i need clarification on what you mean by bug but i am glim a dragonborn pAlydin
and tom laird i would also like clarity on the statement uh and i play moot a half orc
wild magic sorcerer for those of you who are not patrons uh totally okay but you may have
seen the video if you are a patron of me completely mouthing along with welcome to
dungeon dragons i'm your dnd russe More and with me today and i'm just like mouthing it along
and russe is elbowing me i see i didn't see the elbowing and i'm your dungeon master russe
More that's what that was it was punctuated by elbows sharp elbows that's fun that's how
it goes so where you can see that is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash dumb dragon guess what
a sell we have for that one you want to see me elbow my wife yeah sometimes we're just out of
things to talk about and today is apparently one of those things i guess but when you're
a patron you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron fen the goblin
oh thanks fen i like that it's fen the goblin it's not usually such a character name it's
normally more of a human name could this possibly be fantastic from our discord it is
fantastic way to out her oh i know it's there she i mean she she talks pretty freely about
her character fen the goblin so yeah it's probably fine okay and you too can have an
episode dedicated to you over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast fuck it let's play dnd
the three of you are together for the first time ever i think no last episode you were
together at the beginning of the episode too but you weren't real friends now you're real
friends maybe i don't know i'm not going to tell you how to live your life you're on a
caravan i think that was that was in passing the ball
you're on a caravan i immediately dropped it
moon would too wouldn't he be like yeah he doesn't know it he'd be trying to lobster it
yeah how are you supposed to catch up with these claws you previously had been snuck out
of neverwinter because uh you may have found yourself in a wrong way with the sons of ala
hondra andro yes with the sons of ala gondor nailed it gondar doesn't matter you're gone now
fuck those guys fuck those guys until they come back you know at another time
um who knows the inevitable coming back of at the ala hondra squad the eye of ala gondar
but you headed out in the morning and you've been traveling for most of the day and the
group that you're you were kind of put with by laden menda the uh tiefling who smuggled you
out um seems to be just kind of a mixed bag of people from from all different walks you're
not particularly you're not specifically with any with like the soldier groups or the mercenary
groups uh you're with a kind of a group of more refugees and people looking you know kind of
in your situation without saying that they're running from anything in particular so he didn't
choose like the most patient people or like the people with like you know he just chose
like the odd squad so we could fit in with them yeah so you'd fit in yeah exactly the odd squad
we already have our name guys i like that i like that so early i know it took us a hundred
episodes in the last and we didn't even do we didn't even do it we made four star get started
i actually you know what i take back odd squad i want to wait until we have a guest and make
them do it it's tradition it's true the wagon that you have put all your stuff in
is owned by a human male named hillip atrium he is a curly mustachioed fellow kind of a five o'clock
shadow everywhere else has a purple beret as well as a purple suede jacket he he has green
striped pants that kind of bloom out a little bit along the thigh does he in his spare time
run the moulin rouge you never know by any chance i love him what's his name hillip what hillip
atrium atrium atrium atrium a t r e m well he sounds fun he does um i though as soon as you said
like mustache and then you said five o'clock shadow everywhere else i'm picturing you like
on his face everywhere no he's trimmed his chest it's growing back in a little bit he's
wearing a deep v you can kind of see it five o'clock shadow everywhere he's really a werewolf
in disguise he just shaves everywhere else it's a lengthy process it takes him a whole day
and then he's got to start over again but that's uh that's who and you're with another
few people who you probably haven't necessarily met yet but what are you doing what are you
doing right now you're currently traveling it's about kind of late morning mid afternoon ish
is uh is hillip nearby russ he is manning the wagon okay mood's gonna climb up near the front
and he's gonna he's gonna say uh hillip if you were to rent one of these like horse and
carriage things out for a night how how much would you charge for that uh excuse me what
do you mean rent out my carriage well like you know if you weren't using it for the night but
you wanted to use it to earn money even though you weren't using it you let someone else
buy it from you for like a day or so how much would you charge them well um it's just very
fine carriage very fine horses uh i'd probably charge i don't know half a silver maybe okay half
half a silver okay if it's just the night i mean you're going to bring it back in the
morning yes yes well i mean yeah you'd have to think that person would bring it back in the
morning okay half a silver i'm just gonna i'm gonna just go to the back now uh thanks thanks for
answering that question scream but of course yes yes uh any other questions about uh currency
and and the such you just let me know all right um yeah i i think that's the only one
i'm gonna have but i'll come back if i if i have more wonderful wonderful and you're gonna
write that down in your notebook it's all up here he taps his forehead it's a whole new man
hey can i read your notebook uh sure i guess oh thanks what's your notebook look like it is a
small kind of what are those notebooks where you like flip it over like your next page will
flip like a standout pad sure we'll go with that so there's a is it coil bound so yeah it's
not like a high technology for say it's like uh it's like a flip book more than anything
kind of kind of like a like a ticket book like a cop's writing you a ticket
or a reporter no pat oh yeah there we go i i take out my um fountain pen monocle oh
yeah well you know i do have bring in some prop work please and i start to write in um in moot's
notebook what are you what are you writing in there can i see hey no it's private
but it's my notebook well yeah it's your notebook you're gonna see it but it's not her
notebook so you you don't know can you will you show me after can you just show me uh if
it's unless it's too private yeah that's i don't i don't know what he's writing in there so if it's
if it's not if it's not good then you first caught me like sketching yeah i spent some time
in prison with soly so i know he has a pretty awesome sense of humor yeah you're right blue
sense of humor and it's great he's very funny ah you're just buttering me up no you can't see
it it's not done yet and i go back to scribbling in the notebook and yeah like that
and are you good at drawing whatever you're drawing do you have art skills oh uh oh yeah
yeah i can uh i can draw many different things um almost uh anatomically correct
have you have you drawn a lot of birds i don't think that the silence that just hangs
uh well what do you mean by birds well you know what a bird is right yeah and i flip you
the middle finger you guys don't deserve sully
i look at glam and is that a bird that's not any bird i've ever seen
oh well you see sometimes when you're telling someone to like
buzz off you make that symbol and that tells them like get out of here buzz off i'm not
happy with you right now oh yeah because you know everybody hates birds
didn't realize we were with a bird hater oh no oh no am i in your bad book uh no it's just
the one book so do you guys like to play like any road games or well yeah um i got this
uh this set of dice here oh yeah maybe we should play yeah okay
i've never really played many dice games but sure i'm i'm in for it what is most popular dice
game you tell me you're the one who owns dice i also have a dice set so like let's fucking do
this let's are you guys in the back of one of the wagons are you like walking alongside
oh i'm assuming i'm in the back of the way it seems like we were in the back because
just confirming yeah okay i i know sully's super lazy so there's and short legs like there's
no way he'd be jogging to keep up with the wagon i don't think sully jogs
okay do you really want to play a dice game yeah let's play a dice game i'm trying to think
of a good like fantasy name for yahtzee i can't come up with anything so we could do that or we
could play like a truth or dare because we're just getting to know each other right now
oh yeah i like that that's backstory stuff too that's more fun yeah go for it
well i have a dice set too but what if instead we play truth or dare truth or dare
it's like being in high school again exactly it's such a thing school of hard knocks right
sully oh yeah you know me so who wants to go first well it was your idea so okay i want truth
who's gonna ask me have you ever been kissed i mean i'm 25 i've been kissed well i can't say
that i'm you hear from up front hello it's like uh excuse me pardon me uh dragonborn
they don't really have lips so how does kissing feel
it's more of like uh um we have these really long tongues oh so silly more tongues more tongues
than lips so it's kind of like two snakes battling yeah yeah exactly like kind of sexy
like that that's cool all right back to driving the wagon carla's face when she just said that
just made my heart explode thank you for that carla okay well it's my turn now
moot same question have you ever been kissed i think hey i think are you the youngest
i'm 25 uh yeah i think so how old are you uh yeah i i'm only 17
i don't think anyone else is is younger than me well how old are you sully well i'm 18
so i got you off by a whole year so moot you're the baby of the group have you ever been
kissed whoa doesn't he have to say truth or dare first oh you're right oh my own game i'm
forgetting the rules sorry moot truth or dare um i'll do i'll do truth well i bet you can
guess what the question's gonna be have you ever been kissed uh yeah um one time a couple years
ago at a birthday party were you playing spin the bottle or something we were playing spin
the tankard yeah so with the tankard the open end would be the end that was the pointy end
uh well you spin it uh standing up and it's just wherever the handle points oh
uh okay um i guess it's sully's turn to truth or or dare why i'm gonna have to choose dare
oh well what do we want to make him do glim
um tell him to show me what he put in the book well you have to ask the question
it's not her turn so you know just uh just thinking of something good here what do i want sully to do
i mean like i feel like he'd do anything so it's kind of hard because he's not going
to be embarrassed i don't think maybe he just talks a big game and would be embarrassed who
knows i don't know sully i dare you to moon one of the other wagons in the caravan so just so
that we're clear on the terminology because i'm not from here i wouldn't you you want me to
to show them my butt yep yeah okay
okay and with the parting of the curtain i assume there's a curtain on the back of the
caravan wagon there is now there is now um i haul trowze down and i shake it at the front
of the other caravan i'm assuming um moot and glim can see over top and through the
through the probably i'm very sure yeah oh it's a tiny tochi so you see a younger female
driving this caravan and she's not really paying attention as this begins
and then realizes what's happening and has this look of like what what excuse me what
are you doing and as she yells out uh one of the wagon wheels hits up like a big pothole
and you see that wheel like break and fly off and the wagon falls to the ground and
she's like oh my god it's her wagon yeah
still got it um i haul my trousers up and i and i jump off the back of the
caravan wagon to um to to help her out yeah i say weapon of ass destruction
i say hillip the the carriage behind us dropped a wheel we're gonna help
oh yes yes yes jump out he uh he pulls the caravan off to the side and so people other
people can pass lady you get so de so distracted that i can i help you do you like anything you
see i'm just kidding it was a dear we were playing truth or dare i overheard that some
of you were miners i don't know if this should be a thing that i should be interested in i
don't think any of us work in a mine but i mean i'm not entirely sure where moot comes from
so okay well it's i'm not gonna blame this on you but do any of you know how to fix a wagon
no no but i can't offer some some comfort i go arms open no no all right thanks though
i mean i think we could if we all team up we could probably figure it out
did the wheel just fall off for us like did it just pop off the
axle or whatever it did pop off the axle but it also looks like it crushed underneath as it
fell into this pothole so it is broken and off she's trying to calm down the horses hey glim i
dare you to fix the wheel well i'm gonna try i mean i can like with help we could like
lift it up and get it back on but we need someone to fix the wheel um do you got
any spears in the back no no this is actually like the fourth wheel i've broken on this
on this journey it's oh good it wasn't just my ass then i mean that didn't help but
yeah uh everybody make a perception check oh i don't even have my dice i forgot how to play
i'll be right back it's a nat 20 she doesn't need her dice well i still got a four i mean
it's still as good that you were it's still only a 19 oh well it's still a nat 20 though
did you say you got a nat 20 i did although i have a minus one which rust just so kindly
reminded me amy it's just a 19 you will never get a 21 perception skill checks my perception
needs to be so good with the uh uh five hey that's one better than mine sully regardless
of your 19 or natural 20 you see um another wagon a little bit further behind um and um
it's an uncovered wagon and you see uh various wood and tools kind of sticking up and out of
the back oh hey guys look the wagon behind hold on i i run toward the wagon and i kind of
wave it down a little bit as you get closer you see a female halfling a little bit older
who stands up and waves to to the driver and she hops down and comes over to you and says
yes yes uh what seems to be the problem here you break your wagon ah yes she broke a wagon
looking at my fine derriere you know what i mean we were wondering if you uh why was she
looking at your derriere well it was a it's the truth or dare yeah uh that poor girl
it's gonna start to hurt my feelings after a while
is there anything that you could do i see you got a lot of tool type things in your wagon
uh yeah yeah we could uh we could maybe help you out there um let's go take a look awesome
look i found some help i'm not just a sweet piece of ass she and another male halfling
and a uh human female i'll kind of gather a couple tools and go over and help and
they look at it and say yeah we can probably get you up and going uh
you guys want to like see if you can lift i don't know about you but uh that's hurtful
i have some i have okay well you can you can lift it too that's totally fine um but if you can like
lift it we can maybe we'll we'll try and fix the wheel first that's probably what we should do but
then when we're ready if you lift it and we get it on there should be good the human uh female
she picks up the wheel and rolls it back to her wagon to begin working on it can you roll
wheels been crushed just like goo goo yeah goo goo it's still got some roll to it
the driver of the wagon uh the broken one the horses have kind of calmed down she says well
not sure this is the most uh great this is the greatest meeting but um i'm i'm i'm
winifred and you are i'm sully hi winifred i'm glim nice to meet you pleasure to meet you
and i'm moot nice to meet you moot uh where where are you three traveling to where where was this
one going well you know the the well of the dragons like everybody else you're with the
you're with the because some a lot of us are breaking off and going to to water deep well
yeah i may come to water deep too i mean i've never been there but i hear it's uh it's
quite the place yeah we haven't we haven't quite decided how about you oh heading to
water deep i mean taking this back to uh to to my bosses when he was up here purchasing purchasing
all these these casks you look in the back there's just casks filled uh all in the back
and it's just been the hardest trip like since i got all these things it just seems one thing
after the other just keeps going wrong hmm is it because they're really heavy and full of
liquid or is it because they're cursed why would they be cursed do you have a
do you have a wagon full of cursed barrels i didn't think so is your boss a cursed barrel
salesman no no it's a tough business it's that's a tough business to begin not a lot
of market for that i wouldn't think no i thought he just sold casks but maybe maybe
they're maybe they're cursed i don't know has anything else been going wrong or just
the wheels breaking are the casks full or are they empty are they filled with souls so some some
of them have some things in them but a lot of them are empty um you just had them you know
fashioned fashioned up in uh up in neverwinter and so you know selling selling goods down in
water deep did you know that ghost souls um yeah i'm aware ghosts are souls um but
no i mean some of them are empty she walks over and knocks on them most most of them
are empty there's a couple that have that are full but do any knock back make a perception check
a left no knock back um but yeah i mean i broke yeah four wheels horses got scared off at one
point and fortunately got them back can't get all the way back to water deep without an issue
sounds like you're having a heck of a time uh you want a little bit of this and i hand her my um
um my flask yeah what water skin wine skin yeah oh uh what what is it it's wine i open it and i
sniff it what does it smell like oh is it the one you found in the thing yes it doesn't smell
very good i go it's just oh never mind oh no i put the lid back on like it's that's going
off yeah that's no good i'm okay i've got i've got water here okay are you okay do you need
something no no yeah i'm fine okay good it's one of those i make you gag right okay well um
good sully walks around the side like dry heaves like i need a minute the female halfling
from the other wagon was standing behind you and says what is your issue what what do you
mean you're flashing your your your took us at fine young women and you're trying to give them
spoiled wine why i didn't know the wine was spoiled and me flashing my fine high knee was
not my idea we were playing truth or dare in the back fair enough i guess kids kids do what
kids do right kids big yeah yeah yeah okay i'm young enough to make bad decisions right what's
your deal what do you mean what's my deal you just you know on this caravan to make other people
feel bad about themselves as a matter of fact that's my main job over here on the journey
Volkswagen you just kind of keep everybody in line you like the matron you could say so
yeah yeah no we uh we travel we we're a roving group who uh come around and and fix
up things where things need fixing fortunately we were here to help help this fine young lady
which i had nothing to do with by the way i believe you okay good wholeheartedly so wait
you're you're traveling carpenters yeah so then you know how to fix a wheel no problem
yeah that's that's why this is the lady from the wagon that's why that's why is it
came to fix the wheel isabelle took the wheel she rolled it away to go fix it i i brought
her back because i saw that the wagon was full of tools have you been drinking from this flask
because you really shouldn't buddy it's not good stuff i can't tell if he's serious or not
is tom just not paying attention i don't know i thought i thought the driver of the wagon
that broke the wheel took the wheel away and no one had claimed the new one yet to like
oh to like fix it up or anything sorry no my description might have been off but yeah the
the female human from the tool wagon had rolled it away got it and now i'm talking to the half
sully's talking to the halfling around the other side of the wagon we're still on the other
side of the wagon with winifred yeah because i'm dry heaving she went to go barf i did
and the halfling followed her i think i just just you're just kind of there just kind of right
she's there to be there well it's uh it's good that you were able to stop and help this fine
lady after you may or may not have uh assisted in you just finished saying that you without a
doubt knew that i had nothing to do with that so like make up your mind i i believe you i
believe you name's barbara hey barbara i'm sully nice to meet you sully and we do the
secret um halfling handshake so you tell me what you do with for a secret halfling handshake
okay so it goes like you have to do with me so it goes like you put your hands out to each
other and then a little bit away but then you come back in for it firm shake up twice pull
back pound it and then slap the back your hands together and that's it so she does the motions
but it was just like a beat behind you trying to figure out what you're trying to do
as you're doing it but she's like yeah this is totally cool
so sully gets a feeling like she doesn't really know what the halfling handshake is
and then starts to question who taught him the halfling handshake and all that
hmm interesting um okay well as you finish the handshake isabel comes back with the wheel
well if you um these are all going to be the same voice it doesn't matter if you just help me
lift it we can sneak us on there and hopefully get us get us moving again okay sure let's
let's give it our best shot three of you are helping yeah everybody roll a strength check
uh 18 10 15 uh well two of you got higher than a 15 so you're able to uh to lift it
sully it gets to a certain point and i don't know if sully just stops lifting
just just when past his reach what can he do yeah i have a feeling like i'm holding on
to it like i'm dangling i don't think you're holding it up that high though i don't think
there's any need for that but um but they uh you lift it high enough that they're able to
get the wheel back on there and secure it back on um and they tell you put it down and
then give it a second just to make sure everything holds um and then uh
sounds like everything's ready to go so as well let's uh let's all hop back in the wagon get
on the way okay do you want to hop in your wagon no you go hop in your wagon and keep
your keep your keep your butt in your pants nobody needs to see that around here yes ma'am
it's a family caravan that's not true fair enough well it was nice to meet all of you
i hope you have better luck winifred yeah yeah me too i uh i hope so thank you well if
if you need any more help you can always ask i will thank you very much glen she hops back up
into the wagon nice to nice to meet you all well i'm sure we'll we'll see you if you're
you're heading the way to water deep i'm gonna go get back in the in hillip's wagon i guess
i too clamor up into the wagon and i say we're gonna keep playing this game can you guys
like give me ds and stuff that don't involve me taking my clothes off crossing actions back
there it did it did sort of create a weird vibe for the rest of that interaction didn't it
it yeah that's my bad guys well it seemed like a safe one i forgot that when you're
you know in a caravan there isn't really much for road you're sort of just beside the same
people full time so yeah all right well um you guys know any other games or you just want to
like have a nap or something i could go for a nap silly throws a notebook at moot what's
what did you put in there i don't know what do you see in there
oh no you drew it you sent you sent tom a text or something if you don't want glim to know
oh sure yeah hold on yes that's a good idea oh fun fun fun moot's looking at this sweet
picture that that sully drew we'll find out what that is at a later time maybe hopefully
and uh yeah you kind of drift off have naps and go around and meet some of the other
people in the caravan you travel most of the day and it gets to be
evening and the caravan pulls over and sets up camp
we're back at the middle feeling great about things and we're gonna tell you how you can
win a cool book and then we're gonna give you that book in maybe two or three weeks yeah
yeah wow i like it it was very freeform i like it quite a bit that's what i do yeah i mean most
people feel the need to try to rhyme yeah but you didn't even you didn't you squashed that
urge to rhyme you just did your own thing and i really i like it i like your confidence that's
what happens when you just put me on the spot like that but welcome back to the middle
everybody uh thank you for being here with this lovely lovely episode and your lovely
lovely people and we want to give you a cool cool book for entering our contest is that book
ghosts of salt marsh that's the book god it's a good book i got it in one you did it so all you
got to do is make a rap no no i mean if you do you don't have to do that we'll appreciate
that but you don't have to that's not how you enter the contest amy missed it the entire
thing last time she just kind of showed up at the end and took all the credit so all you
got to do is you got to share an episode either on twitter using that hashtag dumb dragon cast
yep and tell tell people that you like us or you can go to facebook click the link down in
the description and share that to your page and then leave us a little comment say how much
how much you did it and also tell us that you did share it just because yeah privacy
settings sometimes we can't really tell so that's what more what i was getting at
how much you did it and what i really want you guys to know is just how weird russ's hand
movements are throughout this entire thing so i was just gonna say that like you can't see
this but russ is doing some really intense like typing yeah and there's a lot of finger
pointing it's yeah it's good i've seen those work on a computer a lot of times and he
doesn't he doesn't type like this up near his chin like he's doing and it's like spidery
and weird i wish you could see it although i don't it's so all you got to do is you got
to enter a contest and you win a copy of the ghost of salt marsh which contest ends august
31st and then we'll send it to you so thanks so please enter and we love you love you bye
hey there we're dm to gm i'm your dm from Dumbgeons and Dragons Russ More
and i'm your gm from the end of time and other bothers shawn howler and what we do here at dm
to gm is we answer your questions to help you feel more comfortable playing the games you want
to play and what questions would those be russ they are what game genre would you like to run
what system are you familiar with or are you looking to use and finally what hurdle is
stopping you from running the game that you want to run and we don't always agree but nine
times out of 10 i think we're pretty much on the same page i like mazes shawn doesn't it's a big
thing don't worry about yeah aside from the maze thing we want to share our real experiences
what we've learned what's been helpful so that other people can get going and because a lot
of these hurdles are just in their head so all you got to do is send us the answer to those
questions to dm to gm cast at gmail.com and we will do our best to answer them and then
listen to us where do they listen to us shawn they can listen to us anywhere they can find podcasts
just search for dm to gm send us your questions dm to gm cast at gmail.com then listen every other
friday wherever you download podcasts or visit dm to gm.com dm to gm get your game started
hello calls back and says well it's um this is where we stop and you got things to to sleep in
yeah i do do you guys too yeah i mean um laden gave us some stuff before we left so
yeah yeah good good all right well we'll just camp here uh you know what after we get
everything set up i got i got i got an idea you guys seemed like you might be able to help me
with it i'll come right back okay i'm just gonna go put the horses and ties him up and he zips
off so so moot what did what did solid draw on your book can you tell me it's if it's
private you don't have to tell me i'm just so curious i mean i can it had to do with
uh your conversation with uh with hillip about uh making out oh okay i figured it was
some kind of sex thing yeah it's a it's a pretty crude sketch of you and me
making out with lots of tongue and when i say lots of tongue i mean like a crazy abnormal
amount of tongue right like a lot even for a dragonborn yeah like a ridiculous amount of
tongue well and how sully's art is he good at it um i mean i wouldn't say good okay but i knew
who both the people were in the drawing so that's something that's something i mean also he was
looking at us when he was drawing it so that also was a dead giveaway true that's a really
good point well thanks for telling me i mean and maybe thanks for not showing me yeah i mean
i don't it's it's it's a little much that sounds right for sully don't you think he's so funny
yeah he seems okay
am i still sleeping i thought we'd gotten out and we're like milling around kind of as we
wait for hillip to come back with with his crazy ideas with his idea so uh yeah you two
are offsetting up kind of your bed rolls and nearing around the the camp area fire area
what's sully doing sully is i think sully's like just like slowly waking up he had fallen
asleep in the back of the the back of the caravan and just kind of like sitting on the
back of the caravan legs dangling over just kind of looking at all the industrious folks
getting their things set up and i feel like he's a little bit like the grasshopper
in the fall instead of like the ant after i set up my bed roll then i start doing my evening
workout routine which is a series of like calisthenics and like push-ups and you know
because i got to save the world so i just kind of go off to the side and start start
going through my routine you catch the eye of a couple people and they're like yeah that's
that's a pretty good they come over and there's a man and a woman they say can
you mind if we just you know kind of follow your lead there oh absolutely i'd love it great
at the end of the evening she has like an i like leading zumba classes exactly everyone has a
stump in front of them there's a step class going on it's a real zumba style bard comes
over and some sweet dance music starts up yeah i love it i love everything you're saying
totally uh that's awesome um you see uh moot assuming you're kind of near the bed roll area
sully and glim you see hillip come back over to moot and where did your friends go i'm not
entirely sure where sully went but you can see there's a bunch of people over there working
out with glim wow she really just rallies the crowd doesn't she yeah i think she's kind of
got that natural leader thing going on for her cool well she's very bendy too
right surprisingly so for a dragonborn who knew who knew anyways sully shuffles up well when
maybe when they all come back here i've got i've got some you guys are you guys are not with
like the the malicious no oh no we're not really here to fight
oh okay but what i'm saying three more of these
he he kind of waves at you glim oh and i i wave like i'll just i'll just be a minute
okay and then i tell my people like okay just do three more sets of this
and then you'll be good for the night and i come over
okay well it's that's very good it gets blood flowing gets people sleeping very good it's
very nice for for you to do that for the people of not many people do those sorts of things
anymore not for the people not for the people anyways so as i was telling your friends here
you you aren't you aren't going to fight the big the big battle no well i mean
i am destined to save the world but you mentioned that 12 times to different people
on the way but i think we're gonna drop off in water deep i don't think we're gonna head
for the well of the dragons cool cool cool so you're like adventurers yeah um and i kind
of look at the two yeah yeah i think we're adventurers yes very neat very neat well you
know the adventurers adventures they got to fund their adventures right there's this there's
this old rumor old saying over near here uh big treasure big fun big fun we go find the
big treasure we have big fun but there's this old old town rumor to be around here that maybe
the three of you and me we go and we we find and if maybe we there is treasure maybe you
know split it to four ways you know 50 50 25 25 and you yeah no that math doesn't add up
for me okay 30 20 20 20 that does not even add up to 100 math was not my strong suit see
how about how about we just split it four ways and see what happens yeah it's 25 percent each
yeah well what's what's the story behind this supposed treasure oh well there's there's this
treasure um i see no real some say 100 gold some say 500 gold some say a million gold so
it's very fLexible in what the rumors are saying but for centuries there was a great
windmill blew the darkness from the woods working as a filter to sweep the land from
wicked spirits is very you don't want those spirits in there but there was a magical
orb inside the windmill and it went missing so the windmill had stopped
and then it was taken over maybe by some evil things and drove all the people away
hey did you know that
uh did i know that ghosts
souls ghosts are souls yeah sorry did you just learn this today
oh yeah i've been learning so much today very cool very cool uh regardless
evil rumor to be raining over the peaceful hollow of the windmill town
so maybe we just go see if there's some gold there so are we looking for gold are we looking
for a magical an orb i'm not sure i love the storytelling well i mean really we just want
the gold i mean where does the gold come into it yeah there's there was no mention of gold in
the story the rumor is the gold is in the town oh but it's an evil town now but it's an evil
town but no people live there evil lives there but maybe maybe a lot of gold too and we sneak
in under just to see if we can find it under under what under the blanket of night
oh the shadows move with the shadows yeah all right yeah yeah i could go for some treasure
i'm always up for adventure you know i'm on this this caravan all day all the time and
you know sometimes it's good to go stretch your legs and do some calisthenics as they say
over there and maybe go find some gold and if we find a magical orb and get rid of the evils
that'd be cool too but it's all rumors nobody's i don't know anybody who's actually
been there it's just supposed to be in this area
well i don't really care that much about the gold but i would love to vanish evil from a town
that sounds like something i would really enjoy yeah this this magic orb sounds interesting
yeah well the orb is supposed to keep the windmill going so i mean i don't care what you
do with the orb and you can so i think i think what he whispers to sully i think what
they're saying is we split it 50 50 you and i and they keep the orb and vanish evil and then
they're cool oh yeah i definitely heard that yeah that's what i heard too yeah for sure yeah
so are we in i say yes i mean it could just be a fun night just you know old buddies
old pals traveling through the forest shenanigans ensue shenanigans ensue sully got it up top
yeah
uh sure let's let's check it out cool beans all right let me just uh go make sure the horses are
properly secured get somebody to watch them just in case you know and then we'll go uh
go ahead into the woods you grab what you need okay
that hillip is quite the storyteller i like that guy it's great he makes me seem normal
uh hillip comes back after a moment he's like okay you ready to go
let's go i got wind i got i got maybe i shouldn't have got windafred to watch the horses she says
bad things happen to her ah well yeah she's cursed why would you say that well i don't know
maybe she needs an orb oh oh yeah cool well maybe we go find her an orb i don't know what
he's gonna get from this whole excursion but oh he's he's looking for some uh more
practice with his lobster cloth sully has no idea what you do
it's fair i mean to be fair the three of you have no idea what each other does
sully's like he's part man part lobster obviously some sort of spirit animal yep
so you guys head off uh into the woods following hillip and he's like
i don't know how far exactly it is it's supposed to be kind of here we'll just kind of go in and see
abouts he pulls out a map of the area it's like it's he points like kind of right there
i think is where somebody told me they last maybe been to it or just heard about it
you guys good travelers well once i was traveling in the forest and i went to sleep
and i woke up someplace like like 100 kilometers away 100 kilometers away
it sounds like you're a really good traveler then right that's what i'm thinking
interesting interesting okay you guys carry on through uh through the forest there
um everybody make a perception check oh man 60 one 12 i'm just so jazzed up from zumba i'm still
like got that song the bard was singing in my head just like a bard version of the shakira
song isn't it it is now yes uh hillip sully and moot you hear a really loud buzzing
coming from up ahead guys i i we don't know each other very well but i just need to say this
right now is that i don't i don't like bees is that is that what you think that is why i'm
hearing a buzz in it yeah it sounds like it's a bumblebees they they got the honey and it's
really really great because you got the honey and you make a lot of money honey so that's
what bumblebees are all about
i turned to moot and i'm just like i don't know if these guys ever even seen a bumblebee
description i mean he has the part about honey being right well yeah but i mean that
could just be a metaphor for more money like i don't know are bumblebees all about
money do i have this all wrong i mean i don't know but i guess we'll find out for sure
thought they were pollinating flowers or something but um uh hey glim you got like really thick scales
and stuff right uh are you scared of bees i'm not scared of bees i kept bees at home like
honeybees you know we had a few hives of course you did yeah i'm not i'm not afraid
of bees are you are you afraid of them oh yeah well i'm pretty sure i'm anaphylaptic or
something like that but if maybe you could go on up ahead we're hearing some crazy buzzin
and uh since you got such thick scales and stuff they probably can't even sting you
so so just so we just so we clarify the thickness of dragonborn scales they
they don't act as armor but they're more kind of they act more like just regular human
skin they're not like full dragon scales oh so they don't add anything to ac or anything
like that but i mean you can still say you have thick scales that's totally cool but um but yeah
they're not like extra armor for dragonborn okay i just thought maybe like it would be more of like
like a rougher or not rough but like a more like like as if like certainly a different texture
yeah so i thought maybe i also am wearing like heavy armor so less penetrable from yeah
buzzy cool little little b-butts those b-butts aren't gonna get me dang little b-butts um okay
well hilip has kept walking during this um this interaction so he's hanging back i'll i'll go
i'll go yeah up ahead sure i guess with hilip i'm gonna push him out of the way you follow
kind of in behind hilip and then catch up to him and uh to hilip and moot are you
staying with sully or are you going ahead too uh kind of in between okay then hilip and glim
make an investigation check because you're looking around for things looking around check
is a 16 um so you see it um before hilip does so you see it first um but you see
almost like a two-story crack three meters up in a tree and it's filled to the brim like
overflowing with a huge abnormally large beehive and like you see honey dripping down and out of
the out of this crack in the tree uh okay and i kind of like tap hilip and point up and then
like wave back whoa would you look at that that's the money that's the money spot yeah i
mean you guys you definitely heard some bees hey anybody got any sweet jars or something
or maybe we come back a little bit later and yeah she said casks we should fill her casks
with all this honey no no no no because ma'am no sully's scared of the bees he thinks he might
die or something so we should just let's just move along let's just move along pretty quick
oh okay that's fine is the treasure honey no i don't think so i mean they said gold i
mean gold honey gold it's golden honey it could be metaphorical but i don't see a windmill around
here though no okay well let's just let's just keep going okay okay downtrodden kind of just
keeps going looks back up at the at the honey some day i come back for you and get all the honey
um
what a what a creepy promise
come back for you bees i'm gonna get all your honey as you carry on uh you begin to
hear the sound of rushing water like a river um and you carry on a little ways and you
actually come to that river and down ahead you see a bridge everybody make an investigation
or a perception check uh perception check is it a bridge over troubled water
it's a bridge over water fuck one uh 12 19 uh moot you definitely see um like hillop calls
attention to it he's like oh it's a bridge and maybe it's on the other side of the bridge
there might be looks at his map is there maybe it's kind of that area maybe on the other side
who knows um but you see that the bridge looks like there are like panels broken out of it
and along on the other side of the bridge you see um like a tree that has been knocked down
and also extends across this this ravine where this river is
so like the tree goes all the way across yeah and how deep is how deep and wide is
the ravine um it is about 50 feet across and about 20 feet down river doesn't look like
it's moving super fast moot uh kind of looks back at everyone says uh there's a bridge up
ahead that doesn't look too stable um also looks like there's a tree that's spanning the
ravine so i guess we have a couple of ways across that's cool that's cool all right
let's should we go check it out then now i call dibs on the tree that bridge is sketchy
don't get out okay you guys get up to the bridge and there are clearly panels it's like
it is an old bridge it's a rope bridge um planks all the way across every every few
panels it looks like it's been snapped and broken um the log itself looks like it's
you kind of check it out it's pretty seems pretty securely in place also across spanning
across and getting go okay so like that's a great idea because i think you're the lightest
so you you're the least in the least danger i hope i hope so too okay are you going across
the bridge or the log the log make and and stealth check i want to be like really like
yeah that's not a that's not a stealth thing i'd be like an athletic yeah okay or acrobatics
i could do cart stealthy car sure yeah you could justify acrobatics okay if you're doing
cartwheels it's going to be a higher dc not not cartwheels 16 yeah yeah you kind of
slip your footing a little bit part way across but um it seems fairly stable to you and you
make it all the way across no problem okay well i'll give it to go here just see what happens
uh hillip goes out um and he slips like loses his footing completely hits like a piece of moss
or something and um falls straddling the log he's on the other side like oh good he takes a couple
points of damage as he like rolls and is like holding on to the side and he's like it's
slippery you didn't tell me it was slippery how much dick damage did he take two dick damage
well i thought that you'd assume that and take your time because you made it splashing you
made it look so easy there my tiny friend can you come help me you're like two steps into
into the log i gotta come three quarters of the way back back over i can't see them behind me
they might have left me for dead to go get some honey uh no no we're right here we're still here
you're okay good can someone give me a hand or something maybe you've got a rope to help
and pull me i can't quite get my handle
i'll inch my way out there and grab his hand kind of pulls straightens up saying thank you
good friend moot that one would have left me for dead i'm three quarters of the way across
i'm not gonna say it again he stands back up and makes his way across kind of hobbling
along but makes it without slipping your next are you sure yeah all right make a either
yeah an acrobatics check is what we've been doing so far it's like a tight rep right
acrobatics this has a 14 yeah you you make it uh all the way across there um no dick damage
no dick damage no no dick damage you kind of watch your step around where um where hillip
slipped and you make it all the way across okay guys i guess it's my turn okay be safe
do i have to use acrobatics or can i use athletics yeah strength you can say it just has
you know i think it's got it well because acrobatics would be dexterity athletics would
be more strength so like unless you're like lifting up the log and using it to
vault over which would be impressive which would be impressive that would be amazing
but yeah probably acrobatics okay then that is not great it's a 12
you get part way and it's a little bit slippery and you get kind of shaky need
as you're going across um but you got those claws on managed to maybe i just lock in and
stable yourself and you too make it all the way across nice job you guys you did so good sully
wow did you like take gymnastics or something when you were little not that i will ever
admit to you're very dexterous tiny friend uh now that small comes in handy sometimes
yes now that you're on the other side of the uh of the ravine you see a pathway
that goes into the forest and forks around a tree so there are two pathways leading further in
where previously you had not come across a pathway what does your map say hillop which
way are we going to go he's looking at it and say well i mean we're in approximately
the area uh maybe we just go down one of these pathways and see what happens
so your map doesn't really tell you which way to go no it's just more of a feeling
oh is there anything on your map can i see your map he shows you the map it's a map of the area
yeah it's something crayon though so i'm not entirely sure but the accuracy of this map
we're like right about here any points to this is just a big green space yeah well we
were here on the on the pathway on the high road with going down to water deep and now we're
here in this forest this looks like a bit of a blue blue line there that could be this this
river this forest is like and i like put my hands this voice is like like like four celly
hands this is look i'm not going to take criticisms for my maps oh you made me bypass
my honeys because you did not like the bees and now you're criticizing my maps
he walks off in a huff oh well which path does he go down uh he goes down the one that shoots
directly off of the bridge go down the opposite one uh do we stay with huffy pants well i think
so i mean it's his adventure we're on right sure yeah you think he'd be a little more grateful
he's very sensitive about his maps the map is garbage too you have to admit yeah i mean the
river wasn't even on it i don't think but it's that's okay he says he has a feeling
it's more than i have about where we are right now so let's go i have a feeling it could be
demons this is for our buffy fans up there um okay so you follow behind him
yeah sure you go down this path and into the forest and as you walk a little ways in it's
almost like it opens up into a clearing you get another 20 or 30 feet ahead and you're
catching up to hillup and you see him stop and look up and he says come come quick come
over here now dad is there more honey up here everybody make a perception check as you kind of
come up to 12 16 14 all three of you um you feel like the wind dies down like almost
to a standstill any breeze that was there is gone and you look ahead and just above the the
trees right in front of you at the end of this path you see the tip of a windmill
stationary against the moonlight
well i'll be damned
oh
we're not even drinking no can you believe it seems like russ is because i there is like some
mouth some i did see like a can of something in his hand sparkling lemon water blue menu
spiked with vodka negative negative zero vodka no no just going them going that clean bubbly
water life yeah that's what that's what the kids are doing these days yeah totally hashtag
bubble life come back over to moot and say where did where did your where did your friends
where did your friends go where's my accent go where's my accent go cursed are the woods was
part of today's adventure created by eric dollock licensed under creative commons by
attribution 3.0 visit creative commons dot org slash licenses slash buy dash sa slash 3.0
the songs long road ahead come play with me flighty theme and sheep may safely graze
are by Kavin mcleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io the songs endless list and play a little game
decision are by sasha ende of filmmusic.io all songs are licensed under creative commons
by attribution 4.0 visit creative commons dot org slash licenses slash buy slash 4.0